There is something about the thought of a wedding that screams togetherness and support and community. 

Perhaps it is all of those images floating around of women jumping on beds in silky floral robes with champagne flutes. *eyeroll*

Or maybe it’s the simple notion that a wedding really is a time for family and friends to come together and celebrate. 

But what happens when your experience as a bride feels lonelier than you expected? 

What happens when small talk about your venue and wedding dress starts to get old and you crave deeper conversation and more meaningful interactions? 

What do you do with the disappointment that comes when you discover that your wedding experience is not full of the togetherness that you envisioned?

 

3 WAYS TO DEFEAT BRIDAL LONELINESS

 

1. BE PROACTIVE - Unfortunately, lack-of-initiative within relationship is a common thing that we are all guilty of. And while yes, you deserve to be sought after and asked out to coffee to discuss your future marriage and receive thoughtful cards of encouragement, those things just might not happen because for whatever reason, people don’t take initiative. So while you can sulk and dwell on the bitterness that comes with feeling unnoticed, there is a better, healthier option. 

You do the reaching out. Chances are, your friends and family want to celebrate you. They are just caught up in their own crazy schedules and crazy life. Be proactive and do the reaching out. Tell them that you want to pick their brain on marriage or that you want to grab drinks to celebrate your engagement or invite them in on your trip to the thrift store to find some budget savvy decor. Don’t be the victim. Don’t wait for the invite. Take initiative and invite people in. 

 

2. BE YOUR OWN FRIEND - That sounds kind of sad, doesn’t it? But it’s not. There is such power in being able to hang out with yourself and enjoy the company. Rather than feeling down in the dumps about not having people reach out to you and take you out for coffee or lunch, take yourself out for coffee because you deserve it. Bring a journal with you and have a conversation with yourself. 

What makes you a good friend? Are you loyal? Funny? Honest? You can be all of those things with yourself. Love yourself. Encourage yourself. Be your own pal. Trust me, you're a pretty cool person. 

 

3. ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE - Pal, you’re a bride. That means you’ve already found your ride-or-die person. It is so easy to want what you don’t have. But the truth is, you have so much right before you. Even if you don’t have the support from your family or the community from your friends like you dreamed you would, you have something better. You have found your human. The one person on the face of the planet who will go to bat for you, pull you out of the mud, or even better, sit down in the mud with you if you’re not ready to get up.

If other people have let you down during this time, let that solidify how lucky you are to have found one person, in a sea of many, who you can always count on. Your wedding is about you two. Nobody can take that from you unless you let them. 

 

I am so sorry if you’ve felt isolated or alone at any point during your engagement.

I understand how painful that is. You deserve so much more than that. And that is why you do not have to accept that loneliness as a part of this season of your life. You can do something about it. Three things, actually. 

Pick one of the three things,

post about it on Instagram,

and tag me @thebarebride so that I can see you killin’ it.  

 

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