Imagine you are walking through The Louvre.
Your boot heels clicking on the marble floors, the quietest mumbles echoing against the cool walls, as you finally make your way to the one painting that causes flocks of people from around the world to stop in their tracks and be moved - the Mona Lisa.
You listen as onlookers pass their hushed comments to each other in foreign languages but all with the same tone of humility and adoration. To stand in the midst of such a well known masterpiece is to come face to face with a beauty that surpasses even the greatest of cultural differences. You bask in the sweetness of something so mysterious and true.
But then behind you, you hear an older gentleman make a rather loud comment in english - “Ehhhh. It’s missing something. Don’t you think? Right over there!” As he points to the left side of the painting. "Let me just uhh see what I can do here…”. He pushes through the crowd, reaches into his backpack, and pulls out a paintbrush and some paints and ‘completes’ the apparently ‘incomplete’ masterpiece with strokes of neon green and orange.
Can you imagine the horror? The confusion? The disgust that someone would not only suggest that a piece of art so lovely is missing something but that they would then take it upon themselves to adjust a painting that was not theirs to even touch in the first place?
Shoot. I’d be pissed.
And I am pissed. Because pal, you are the Mona Lisa. And our culture has been speaking of and acting upon your supposed 'incompleteness' for far too long.
“The missing piece" that isn't missing
I’m sure by now you’ve heard people talk about “finding their missing piece”. Maybe you’ve seen it in quotes or movies. Well I don’t know when that whole concept of a "missing piece” became a thing, but I officially un-thing it.
You are not missing anything. Because to be missing something would suggest that who you are as an individual is incomplete and that simply cannot be. You are not incomplete. You are the farthest thing from it.
And it’s time our culture stop convincing women, like you, otherwise.
Because if you truly believed that you were incomplete, you would spend your days waiting... waiting for that missing piece to come along. Most often, that missing piece is described as your true love. But for many women, that missing piece could even be the loss of 20 pounds, the promotion, the relocation.
My fear for you is that if you spend your days waiting to feel complete, you’ll never get there because ...
If you don’t feel complete as a single woman, you won’t feel complete as a married woman.
If you don’t feel complete at your current weight, you won’t feel complete 20 pounds lighter.
If you don’t feel complete in your current job title, you won’t feel complete within your promotion.
Now are those things allowed to make you feel great? Stronger? Celebrated? ABSOLUTELY. But your worth should not hinge upon those things.
"You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously" - Sophia Bush
You are a complete masterpiece, in and of yourself. And while your pieces may be jumbled and misplaced at times, don’t be fooled. They are all there.
If you can’t accept that you are complete as an individual, then your marriage will suffer because you’ll be looking for a void to be filled by your partner that they simply cannot fill. You’ll feel unsatisfied. They’ll feel frustrated, drained, and insufficient.
If you can’t accept that you are complete as you are, then your wellbeing as an individual will suffer because you’ll never reach a place of contentment. You’ll just keep running into yourself and your supposed incompleteness.
Nobody completes you. Nothing completes you. You complete yourself.
Your person can compliment you. They can uplift you. They can make you better. Make you stronger.
Your triumphs can make you bolder. Leave you feeling proud. They can uplift you. Make you stronger.