When everything feels all over the place, your engagement is not going to feel intimate. It’s going to feel large and daunting and you’ll have to stumble over boxes of invitations and climb through unhealthy expectations and summit a mountain of pressure to finally…finally….have a moment of peace with your future spouse. Engagements and weddings have been done the same exact way for centuries and I’m here to suggest that maybe, just maybe, there is another way - a better way.
Letting your husband or wife in to your desire for intimacy and growth in being intimate means you’re experiencing genuine intimacy. You cannot be intimate alone. Intimacy isn’t intimacy when you are journeying alone.
Our view of intimacy back then was narrowed down to sex, which certainly is a big part of marriage but not the whole picture. We knew we would feel vulnerable sharing every single part of our lives with one another, but the unexpected intimacy that came with marriage was beyond anything we could’ve predicted.
When words like “tied down” and “stuck” and “good ol’ ball and chain” have been passed down through the cultural repertoire of the generations before us, how can we, as young people, walk into our marriages *expecting* to love being married, free spirits and all? I firmly believe that the key to finding lasting freedom within marriage is to develop a relationship that expands horizons rather than shrinks them.