The mainstream wedding CULTURE has been taking advantage of you.
In your beautiful state of vulnerable, bridal bliss, wanting so badly to create the perfect start to your love story, the wedding culture has convinced you to hold your wallets open for them by selling you 3 major lies.
1. You need this.
In order to have your fairytale wedding, you need these 6 vendors. In order to keep your guests happy, you need to give them all of these things. To satisfy your bridesmaids, you have to buy them several gifts. In order to look like a bride, you need a dress that costs this much, with shoes like this, and accessories like these. You’ll need plenty of neutral tones, flowing floral arrangements, and the best looking group of loyal girlfriends…if you want to be considered a real bride, that is.
2. You have to be this.
This is the happiest time of your life. So be happy. Also you have to create the event of a lifetime so be good at planning, an expert organizer, and super diligent with finances. Did I also mention you have to be in the best shape of your life? And preferably super glam, hipster, or boho. Oh, and be rich too. Wait…you’re not? Ok, ok that’s fine. You can be in debt. Because this is the happiest time of your life. You can’t settle now. So be happy.
3. This is your fairytale ending.
Everything that you’ve ever done in your life, wanted in your life, aspired to be in your life, comes down to this one event. That one walk down the aisle. Your fairytale ending. The moment when the stars will align and you walk into the sunset…. and disappear…. THE END.
Sound familiar? (And all of the brides across the face of the earth sighed a simultaneous ‘yep’).
Well allow me to bust open those lies for you.
1. You only NEED yourself, your future spouse, and someone to marry you.
Everything else is simply cultural influence and trends. You don’t NEED any of it. So choose wisely based off of the things that are most important to you. My suggestions? A down-to-earth photographer to help you capture your moment (I have specific recommendations if you need them!) and the people you love most by your side. And food. Because I guess food is kind of a necessity of life. Darn. Everything else? Only have it if you want it. Period.
2. You only have to be WHO YOU ALREADY ARE.
You don’t have to be wealthy or hipster or super thin or great at planning or into the details. Pal, you don’t even have to be happy. All you have to be is who you already are. THAT is what makes you bride. All of that other stuff is a made up mold that no bride fits into completely. Don’t change yourself for them. Somebody has already decided that who you are right this very second is exactly who they want to be around for the rest of their life. You must be pretty cool already...
3. This is just the beginning.
It doesn’t end with the centerpieces. It doesn’t end with a walk down the aisle. It ends with two wrinkly old hands holding each other in silence and holding onto enough adventures, stories, failures, triumphs, wisdom, AND enough love worthy of a REAL fairytale ending. So don't get hung up on all of the details that won't matter 10 years from now. Stick to what really matters.
I’m so sorry that you’ve been lied to. During this exciting/overwhelming/scary/amazing time of your life, you deserve so much more than that. You deserve honesty and transparency. You deserve to be empowered and encouraged.
So be encouraged. Feel empowered. Take back the reigns on your wedding experience and pursue the real fairytale at hand.